How big is your penis?

My penis is soooo big... it can chew gum.

My penis is soooo big... it has it's own penis. And even my penis' penis is bigger than yours.

My penis is soooo big... it's in the other room right now, fixing us drinks.

You get the idea.

My penis is soooo big it that every time I go to the beach, the tide comes in.

My penis is soooo big I end up impaling every woman I fuck.

My penis is soooo big they're making a movie called "Around My Penis In 80 Days."

My penis is soooo big I have back and hip problems from lugging all that weight around.
My penis is soooo big I duct-tape a paintbrush to it and use it to paint the ceiling.

My penis is soooo big it's got its own zip code.....at either end.

My penis is soooo big that I had to quit going to the zoo since the last time I ended up having to submit to a strip search to prove I wasn't trying to sneak the anaconda out of the reptile house in my pants.

And on that same trip some kid tried to feed it a peanut.

My penis is soooo big I have to plan to take a leak a day in advance.

My penis is sooo big the F.A.A. says I have to attach a flashing red light to the end of it before I go to sleep in case I get a woody.

9.65 centimeters.

I don't belong in this thread.

And yet, here I am. Strange.

Last time I posted in one of these threads, I got banned. And so I'll just leave now.

Quote: Originally Posted by Kizmo


My penis is sooo big the F.A.A. says I have to attach a flashing red light to the end of it before I go to sleep in case I get a woody.

In a Drew Carey book that I have, he devotes an entire chapter to jokes in this exact same style. Please don't make me dig out that book and copy all 200 of them.

I have a tattoo on my penis. When my penis is flaccid, it reads: Shorty.

When I have an erection it reads: Shorty's Truck Stop, Bar, and Grill Chattanooga, Tennesee

a little over 6 inches when erect

My penis is big enough to satisfy women adequately.

20-cm long, 3-cm wide.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4713323.stm

6 feet.

My penis is soooo big...

NASA just had to steer the shuttle around it.




My penis is soooo big...

President Bush has declared it a weapon of mass ejaculation.



My penis is soooo big...

I don't get just any crabs, I get Alaskan King Crabs.

::quietly takes notes::

I'm tickling your sphincter as we speak.

My penis is sooooo big that I have to fill out zoning papers whenever I use a public toliet.

My penis is sooooo big that it is often mistaken for Florida.

My penis is soooo big that it goes around eating planets and can only be destroyed by the Autobot matrix of leadership.

My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

My dick is so big it lives next door.

My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.

My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

My dick is so big that it was almost drafted by the Dallas Cowboys,but Jerry Jones didn't want a bigger dick than him on the team.

My dick is so big I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.

My dick is so big that Peter Jackson wanted to use it for King Kong to climb in the remake.

My dick is so big, it has an opening act.

My dick is big, it only plays arenas.

My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.

My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.

My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.

My dick is so big that NASA once launched a space probe to locate the tip of my dick.

My dick is so big that movie theaters now serve popcorn in Small, Medium, Large, and My Dick.

My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build amusement parks on it.

The whole solar system is like an atom, with the planets being protons and electrons spinning around the nucleus, which is the sun. And all the solar systems in the galaxy are atoms in a molecule. And all the galaxies in the universe are actually molecules in the tip of my penis.

I'm hung like flea it's true.

Ah, you guys are copying the Drew Carrey book. Unavoidable really. So was I.

Quote: Originally Posted by Zuben
Ah, you guys are copying the Drew Carrey book. Unavoidable really. So was I.

At least I made reference to the book in my first post. I wasn't going to post any until I found the book underneath a pile of crap in my bedroom.

My dick is so big, I'm fucking my own ass as we speak.

96% of the galaxies total mass can be found within my penis.

Light and energy cannot escape my penis's inexorable gravitational pull.

Entire civilizations have risen and crumbled on my penis. The current civilization inhabitating my penis is currently entering into a Bronze age with metal working and a rudimentary fedual state system begining to flourish.

My penis is soooo big that I rent it out for parties.

Sexy parties.

19.3 cm

My penis is sooooo big... I have address it as "Sir" or it gives me a taste of the back of it's hand.

Quote: Originally Posted by Galactus

and a rudimentary fedual state system begining to flourish.
Samurai, and Shogun battles on one's penis is infinitely cool.

Quote: Originally Posted by lwilson85
Samurai, and Shogun battles on one's penis is infinitely cool. OOOOOF!

Dutch traders over from Fritolaid's penis just introduced gun powder to the denizens of mine.

A cannon siege on your penis can be quite excruciating.

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